My sponsor broke up with me on Sunday. I don't really blame her. I hadn't been calling her or consulting her about anything. I've just been going about my life like I always have, blunderingly. Things happen, I react. Things happen, I decide to do X.
I've been thinking I should call her for a long time. My issues with food have become quite awful. I'm not drinking or using drugs but I'm eating addictively. I eat food that's not mine. I drink million calorie hot chocolates from the machine at work. It's out of control! And that's exactly how it feels: out of control. I feel like I'm careening from one bumper to the other in the pinball machine. So yes, I know I should have called my sponsor. But I didn't
We were supposed to meet up on Sunday for coffee and I just plain forgot. I had it in my calendar but just totally forgot. I called her about an hour later and she was understandably upset. I can't blame her for that. But I'm just not clear on the whole letting me go with love thing. But whatever. I gotta let it go and move forward. Maybe this will be the impetus to put my ass into gear to make some changes. Let's hope so.
